What doesn't hit my sons' radar

It's been nearly a month since I last wrote. Life got crazy busy with events planned (office relocation/ new tenant hunt/ client events) and unplanned (major roof failure/ major IT failures/ major fridge failure). Now, in the blink of the eye that was May, I find myself 1/3 of way thru June and looking at a startling number of things that have not seemed to hit my sons' collective radar enough to warrant communication. They're 11 and 13, so this may seem par for the course, and to an extent it is. What never ceases to amaze, however, are the things that DO cross their minds with enough repetition that they are blurted out to Dustin-Hoffman-in-Rainman levels.

Here is a glimpse of what they have felt compelled to harass and harangue the hubs and I with over the past 30 days: (btw, it is much more realistic if you repeat Mom, Mom... Mom! before each item as if you weren't sitting but 2 feet away, separated only by car seats)

• Sal/Dylan/Patrick/James etc etc etc want to sleep over.
• The Wii controller needs new batteries.
• The TV remote needs new batteries.
• The LR remote needs new batteries.
• Your bedroom TV remote needs new batteries.
• Did you know all the remotes work all TV's in our house?
• We should really buy more batteries.
• We're out of Gatorade.
• I'm going to need a costume to dress up as Ronald Reagan for a project
• Can you get me a monkey so I can be like him in that movie?
• This kid, yeah, at school, he said we can wear whatever we want even T-Shirts w/ curse words for the summer rec program.
• My basketball got lost.
• My goggles got lost.
• The 8th graders went to DC for their field trip. I go next year for 3 days.
• My lacrosse stick got lost.
• Antarctica is the cleanest place on Earth because no humans have cities there.
• The Wii controller now got lost.

So if you repeat these things OVER AND OVER AND OVER to mind-splitting levels, and pepper it with the occasional "nuthin'" and "I dunno" reply to every question, you kind of have the standard chatter of the last few weeks. We seem to live in a magical land driven by highly inefficient AA & AAA batteries in which apparently inanimate objects can get up and walk themselves out the door or off the front yard.

What things that I would deem important did not hit the conversation path until I had a second to breath and dug into the backpacks last night?

• Son2 is required to get a meningitis vaccine in the next 90 days or can not attend 6th grade.
• Son1 had a Spanish test, the last of the year, yesterday. (To call his Spanish asi asi would be muy generous.)
• Son1 has a Language Arts Final Exam this Monday (goodbye Sunday plans)
• The 2 kids now out for the school year due to illness and a "last minute" trip to Poland were 2 of the 4 on Son1's Social Studies project team. The notes went to Poland and may not be available for the project due date.
• Son2 has a 3 page biography report due TODAY on Ronald Reagan. (Thankfully mostly done, but his typing pace will not win any awards, so a long night ensued.)
• Son2 has a 100 word summary due TODAY for a current event article. (3 guesses what we did over breakfast this AM)
• Son1 had his Science Final Exam yesterday. (Science only slightly stronger than Spanish grade was at progress report)
• Son1 could have had additional time today per his IEP to review and complete Science Final, but instead figured he was done, why drag it out? Why not just turn it in early?

Now at SOME point, don't some of those things seem worth your time or attention? Maybe at least as much as the economic development of Antarctica?

It bears stating at this point that I was greeted with these investigative findings while in the throws of PMS. The only bright spot to that being it means I haven't hit menopause yet.  The office move is Tuesday/Wednesday. I have this weekend to sort out what studying can still be done if any, and locate a stuffed monkey for my 11yr who possesses a plush toy of every creature of the animal kingdom except a monkey. My mind can not even process the fact that I'm looking down the barrel of summer vacation yet for these two goofballs. With my luck, menopause will start this weekend after all.