All moms should be divas...this one just happens to be in Jersey!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Day My Name Changed to Mom

Today is one of the most specials day of the year in our house. It's "Family Day." Family Day is what we call the day our adoption papers were finalized in the Russian court, and we became parents to Son1 and Son2. For the rest of my days, my name would be changed to Mom. In honor of the day upon which my descent into madness kicked off, I've been reflecting upon the things I wish I knew then. For all the Home Studies and parenting classes, there's a lot that falls through the cracks.

I don't think many of these are exclusive to adoption, really. Deep down, I think we all could have used some practical guidance on the following:

Parenting ages you at a rate once reserved for US Presidents.
Did you every notice how fast the President ages over a four year term? Did you ever stop and look at your old DMV photo when the license expires and the new one is taken? Eight years ago I looked like Janet Leigh, now, Mrs. Bates. Knowing this in advance would have enabled me to stockpile face creams, massages... maybe a vial or ten of botox.

Washable red markers are, alas, not fully washable.
Just as new red tshirts wreak laundry havoc and Hawaiian Punch will ruin any garment, the red markers will stay with you.My advice- remove them at once from all Crayola boxes. Lose them, toss them, crush them, shred them... whatever it takes.

Your parents really did live to embarass you.
How do I know? Because I DO live some days to make Son1 squirm into a near-teen sweat. Treat me like a jerk in front of your friends just because you think it's more cool, and I assure you, every girl you date will learn I call you Cocoa Bear, be tipped off you will be 30 and still playing video games with a Dath Vader helmet on, and hear about your incessant need to run around naked as a jaybird still. So don't push me, Cocoa Bear. ; )

Kids smell.
Really, they do. They start out with that powdery baby smell and any stray odors are blamed on the diapers. This is only so you can bond with them. And then when they realize they smell, the overcompensate with toxic fumes like Axe. Had they smelled at 2 and 4 the way my laundry does now, I would have gagged and done a rethink.

And lastly... You will suck as a mom, and that's ok.
Whenever I come clean on some massive parenting fail point, I'm always amazed at the kind responses. I'm assured (ok, sometimes astounded) by the volume of equally bad flashes of judgment confessed by you all. It does my heart good to know we all suck at this at times, and that life goes on.

Boys, we love you and adore you more than you could ever know. You make my heart soar. My blood pressure could use a break. But even with all the madness, noise and mayhem, I am so thankful to God for each day you're in my life, for each day I am blessed to call you "sons."

24 comments:

  1. Great post!!! I think I actually giggled out loud at the Axe comment. Sometimes I think my sons bathe in that stuff. And yes, there are times I sit and cry because I know I am the biggest failure at motherhood. Happy Family Day!

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  2. Beautiful tribute - and great advice.

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  3. Awww, you managed to make me laugh and cry within the same post! Thank you for sharing... what a great day for you and your family.

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  4. As usual you are right on and great. Thanks for sharing, making me feel like I am not the only Mom out there stunned, confused and tickled with this Motherhood thing. Enjoy those smelly hugs.

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  5. And from one proud Pop Pop to his daughter "The Diva Mom:" You and your sons (my grandsons) simply rock my world! Happy Family Day-and thanks for the memories. Just keep heaping more of them on us.

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  6. Jersey Diva Mom's MateNovember 11, 2010 at 5:02 PM

    Yep, special day in this house. We let the boys chose the place for dinner... Only rule, nowhere with plastic utensils :-)

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  7. Happy Family Day to you all! This was such a funny yet touching post.

    <3

    When Henry and I started dating, his boys were 8 & 10 and my house nearly needed fumigated by the time the weekends were over. Dear God, boys can give off some STANK!

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  8. Beautiful post full of humor and obvious love :)

    You are such a great mama, and what a wonderful day for you all to celebrate!

    Happy Family Day

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  9. These are great. I am not a mom yet but someday I am sure I will be able to add to the list:)

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  10. I love this post! You had me laughing more than once...my nephews drench themselves in the Axe body spray, I can't wait to embarrass my girls when they're older, and yes, the lines on my face - where did they come from???

    :) Thanks for the smile today.

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  11. Beautiful sharing..thank you. Your parents really did live to embarrass you, huh? i understand..i remember my childhood. my mother once want to escort my camping trip with friends. and i think that's uncool, when all your friends are being 'independent' but you are being body-guarded by your parents. i don't know how my protective approach will be when my babies are older..i may embarrass them too, maybe?

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  12. Another awesome post!!!! Here from Friday Follow

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  13. Congrats! Sounds like you've really enjoyed this journey....aging as it may have been...

    You've hit all the major points here, but 2 I particularly agree with:
    Kids smell, and I suck :)

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  14. Hey, I can relate! Also a friend of mine adopted 2 boys from Kaz. Her boys are 5 or 6. I'm sure she would relate :-) BF Blog Hop. Thanx for stopping by!

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  15. what a sweet post. hope you enjoyed "family day"!

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  16. thank you...I SOOOOOO needed to read this! Now I am gonna go cry...it is all good. ;-) ... I am following you from blog frog. Happy Blogging - Happy Living. Take care Amy @ mommetime.com/

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  17. What a very special day!!!!

    I didn't realize I could age faster than the President until I had my kids. You would think taking care of the world would be a greater catalyst.

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  18. I enjoyed your post. Being a mom is so much more than I ever dreamed,so much more rewarding so much tougher that I would have dreamed!

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  19. Awesome post. Happy Family Day to you! From a fellow mom who's counted more gray hairs than she has wanted to this past year, and who actually kinda likes the smell of Axe. :)

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  20. Great post! Thank goodness JDaniel doesn't get embarrassed by me yet.

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  21. I don't think my parents lived to embarass me. I think it comes naturally. Unfortunately, I have inherited their corniness. Sigh...

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  22. what a wonderful post! Wishing you many more happy family days! And seriously?! What is up with the mommy face? I swear I've aged 10 years in the last 3.

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  23. My oldest once told me before a trip to the store, "No karate kicks at the store Mom!" :)

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