This week my sons have midterm exams. Only a mom can relate to the nerve wracking feeling of watching a child study and study, but still not "get it." You feel for the kid, you hate to admit you're frustrated, and you pray like you're in a convent that you'll all get through the week.
I'm not quite sure what possessed me to think I could take on professional development work of my own right now. The overzealous spirit of New Year's resolutions swept me away into delusion, with nary a look at the calendar. Dumb. It seemed like a good use of time with work slow right now. Maybe a check-in to my clients to double check tight deadlines would have been wise?
To our daily study hall, I get to add my own homework to the mix. Good Lord, this classwork can't end soon enough. My concentration is just not what it was went I did this "school thing" way back when. They could be quiet as trapist monks and it wouldn't matter. They're breathing. They're turning pages. The scratching sound of book slipping back into nylon backpack rings in my ears. Must you be so loud eating a *&^$*#% cupcake?
I am confident that within a week or two, I'll feel a little less overwhelmed. Exams (theirs) will be done. Proposals prepped and in negotiating phase with its own hurry-up-and-wait mode. I'll be more used to my class schedule. For now, I feel like at any given point, I can effectively pull off 2 of the following simultaneously: mother, business owner, volunteer who can never say no, and student. The trick is going to be adding plate 3 to the spinning contest. If I have to add plate 4 in at the same time, in the same afternoon for instance, I better get a hard hat.