All moms should be divas...this one just happens to be in Jersey!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Divide and Conquer

Nothing brings peace and tranquility to a house like the removal of children. What I have recently seen though is totally removing all children may not be necessary to achieve peace. That may be overkill. It appears merely reducing the number of the herd does the trick, or so I am finding out. Son1 is off for 4 days for a retreat, rendering us an only child household. We've divided the melee, and for fleeting hours conquered the overwhelming volume boy households seem to generate. It     was   sooooo    quiet. At first it was like Buddha overtook my home, and he was carting xanax.

The big thing that runs through your brain is, "Holy Toledo- there's no bickering." It's not like Son2 is going to start bickering with his stuffed animals. At least I hope to God not.  There's no "stop touching/pushing/kicking/stealing the Wii/making fun of me/making faces/breathing more than your share of oxygen than critically needed." No tattle has been relayed. No fights over who got to pick which show last night, the night before, the night before that etc etc all the way to prime time of January 1, 2003. Breakfast was so much easier without syrup "somehow" working itself into a sibling's hair. There is no stereotypical older sibling bossiness/ younger sibling narking going on. For the first weekday in months (summer camp week to be exact), the hubs and I looked at each other and smiled between the hours of 7:00 and 9:00 AM.

Man- the whole power balance from 1 kid to 2 does this to a household?

But then, there are some other things creeping into the home that are as disquieting as the usual racket. It seems our blissful partial respite has a definite, "be careful what you wish for" thing going on. While we love the lack of commotion, Son2 is crawling the walls. He thinks we're here to entertain him 24/7. What the hell? Is Son1 a circus monkey that he occupies his brother so much?

Having suddenly found himself in solo status, and craving all sorts of attention, Son2 is also showing his unease in being alone. So, whatever room in which you happen to find yourself, you will soon find Son2. If you've ever had a labrador, you know they have a tendency to ALWAYS stay within a pace of you, making it easy to trip over them. That's Son2. Kid- seriously- I need some breathing room. I'm used to you ignoring every word I say not clinging to them like misplaced Easter basket grass.

In a frightening development, he's now just begun chattering. And he makes you feel like DIRT, lower than dirt, when you try and nip it. Don't you see I'm busy working from home? making dinner? or watching 80's music videos on Youtube wondering where my life went from 16 Candles to 30 days of Crock Pot recipes?  I love the munchkin, I do... but there is a point in conversation where there is a lull. He lets no lull lapse without chiming in, even if just to say "huh, guess I'm talking a lot." He's gone to the old standby of "ok, I'll just sit here. Not saying a word. Nope. Won't hear anything from me." I'm not sure but I think he may have been talking in his sleep all night long.

The funny thing is that when Son1 is back on the scene, Son2 will lapse back to being the more quiet one. I think the absence of incessant, goofy, 12 yr old brother chatter is causing him to fill the void by himself, and for himself. I have no frame of reference, having been raised in house with 4 kids... Are all only children like this? Or is this his attempt to make up for the sudden lack of bossy/loud/whirling dervish of a companion that he has in his older brother? Man, if this is what life would have been like had we only adopted 1 child, I'm glad we went for the two-fer.


  1. I love your blog because you're so REAL about parenting! It's refreshing.

    I just have the one kid, and he talks incessantly. And if he's not saying words, he's just making sounds. Really annoying sounds. All the time. So your post has me wondering what it would be like if I had two kids!

    "or watching 80's music videos on Youtube wondering where my life went from 16 Candles to 30 days of Crock Pot recipes?" <-- Sigh. You hit the nail on the head with that one.

  2. JDaniel is glued to my side at all times. He is an only, but he is also two. I will have to see how it goes as he gets older.

    Stopping from Mom Loop!

  3. Love the title of this post. I only have one child but being from a family of five I can totally understand where you are coming from.

  4. I love having my two. When it's one even at their young age it's super boring for them and I have to do all the entertaining-not fun.
    Thanks for your post!

  5. I only ever wanted one child, because my siblings and I bickered constantly, and it was stressful for me (and, of course, my mom). Fate laughed. I ended up raising my sister's two kids, who are 18 months apart, and they would fight over a dog turd. When they got older, my mom and I split them up; she took the boy and I took the girl. Ahhhh, blessed peace.

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  7. I desire to have as many children as God will allow. Althought, I am not there yet ( I have a toddler and one on the way) I enjoyed reading your experience, I appreciate your transparency! Thanks for visiting my blog and providing the great information regarding your Husband's business and their support for entrprenuers. I will definitely incorporate this information!

  8. Hey there! I remember my sister and always arguing up into our 20's....we had our first drag down fight once and ever since then...we've been amicable (when I can tolerate her shhhhh LOL).
    Thanks for stopping by my blog, I wanted to return the for having siblings...

  9. My hubby is an only child and he is quiet! Seriously, he doesn't talk unless he needs to or unless I've spiked his punch, lol! I love the part about "no one breathing more than his share of oxygen," that's just hilarious!

  10. I just found your blog and I love it.
    I don't have kids myself but I have friends that do. Your blog as me cracking up every time I read it.

    And it is nice to read something from a fellow Jersey girl.

  11. I have 4 and sometimes the only way I survive is to put them in twos for designated periods of time. They all seem to cooperate better in twos. Then there are the days when nothing works, but we won't talk about those days! :)

  12. Thanks for commenting on my blog. I featured your response on my blog today.

  13. Ha ha - I'm always amazed by how much less work there is when one child goes to the grandparents' - guess it's because it makes for less relationships to manage :).