Divide and Conquer

Nothing brings peace and tranquility to a house like the removal of children. What I have recently seen though is totally removing all children may not be necessary to achieve peace. That may be overkill. It appears merely reducing the number of the herd does the trick, or so I am finding out. Son1 is off for 4 days for a retreat, rendering us an only child household. We've divided the melee, and for fleeting hours conquered the overwhelming volume boy households seem to generate. It     was   sooooo    quiet. At first it was like Buddha overtook my home, and he was carting xanax.

The big thing that runs through your brain is, "Holy Toledo- there's no bickering." It's not like Son2 is going to start bickering with his stuffed animals. At least I hope to God not.  There's no "stop touching/pushing/kicking/stealing the Wii/making fun of me/making faces/breathing more than your share of oxygen than critically needed." No tattle has been relayed. No fights over who got to pick which show last night, the night before, the night before that etc etc all the way to prime time of January 1, 2003. Breakfast was so much easier without syrup "somehow" working itself into a sibling's hair. There is no stereotypical older sibling bossiness/ younger sibling narking going on. For the first weekday in months (summer camp week to be exact), the hubs and I looked at each other and smiled between the hours of 7:00 and 9:00 AM.

Man- the whole power balance from 1 kid to 2 does this to a household?

But then, there are some other things creeping into the home that are as disquieting as the usual racket. It seems our blissful partial respite has a definite, "be careful what you wish for" thing going on. While we love the lack of commotion, Son2 is crawling the walls. He thinks we're here to entertain him 24/7. What the hell? Is Son1 a circus monkey that he occupies his brother so much?

Having suddenly found himself in solo status, and craving all sorts of attention, Son2 is also showing his unease in being alone. So, whatever room in which you happen to find yourself, you will soon find Son2. If you've ever had a labrador, you know they have a tendency to ALWAYS stay within a pace of you, making it easy to trip over them. That's Son2. Kid- seriously- I need some breathing room. I'm used to you ignoring every word I say not clinging to them like misplaced Easter basket grass.

In a frightening development, he's now just begun chattering. And he makes you feel like DIRT, lower than dirt, when you try and nip it. Don't you see I'm busy working from home? making dinner? or watching 80's music videos on Youtube wondering where my life went from 16 Candles to 30 days of Crock Pot recipes?  I love the munchkin, I do... but there is a point in conversation where there is a lull. He lets no lull lapse without chiming in, even if just to say "huh, guess I'm talking a lot." He's gone to the old standby of "ok, I'll just sit here. Not saying a word. Nope. Won't hear anything from me." I'm not sure but I think he may have been talking in his sleep all night long.

The funny thing is that when Son1 is back on the scene, Son2 will lapse back to being the more quiet one. I think the absence of incessant, goofy, 12 yr old brother chatter is causing him to fill the void by himself, and for himself. I have no frame of reference, having been raised in house with 4 kids... Are all only children like this? Or is this his attempt to make up for the sudden lack of bossy/loud/whirling dervish of a companion that he has in his older brother? Man, if this is what life would have been like had we only adopted 1 child, I'm glad we went for the two-fer.