I would sound more like June Cleaver, less like Yosemite Sam when speaking to my kids.
Cheerios would have the same calming effect as wine, or...
Wine would be socially acceptable over breakfast.
My sons’ ADHD would, for even just a day, become ADhD.
7th grade Math would seem easier the second time around.
Eminem could record a song without the F word, and my son could be drawn to that one.
I would have a dime for each text message chime in the house.
My credit card companies would realize I’m far too nice a person to be charged loan-shark rates.
I could travel outside of NJ and still avoid pumping gas.
Women in their 40’s would get the same amazing, totally natural highlights as kids under 10.
Santa would make a comeback for me.
Politicians, physicians, and school principals would not all suddenly seem younger than me.
At least one of the 70 billion cellulite products marketed would work at all.
My kids would be as tuned to my moods or migraines as my dogs seem to be.
My 12 yr old would go from Point A directly to Point B- ever- without one of those Family Circus cartoon map routes.
Fade-proof lipstick wouldn’t fade.
My 10 yr old would listen to me.
Ok, my 10 yr old would at least acknowledge me.
I could spend a day with the wonderful cherubs teachers, neighbors, and friends tell me about.
I wouldn’t have to leave the room my kids are in sometimes to avoid losing my mind.
…. And lastly… In my ideal world, Dr. Oz would feature Snickers as a cure-all for breast cancer, heart disease, and Alzheimers. And maybe cellulite.