All moms should be divas...this one just happens to be in Jersey!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

In My Ideal World...

I would sound more like June Cleaver, less like Yosemite Sam when speaking to my kids.

Cheerios would have the same calming effect as wine, or...

Wine would be socially acceptable over breakfast.

My sons’ ADHD would, for even just a day, become ADhD.

7th grade Math would seem easier the second time around.

Eminem could record a song without the F word, and my son could be drawn to that one.

I would have a dime for each text message chime in the house.

My credit card companies would realize I’m far too nice a person to be charged loan-shark rates.

I could travel outside of NJ and still avoid pumping gas.

Women in their 40’s would get the same amazing, totally natural highlights as kids under 10.

Santa would make a comeback for me.

Politicians, physicians, and school principals would not all suddenly seem younger than me.

At least one of the 70 billion cellulite products marketed would work at all.

My kids would be as tuned to my moods or migraines as my dogs seem to be.

My 12 yr old would go from Point A directly to Point B- ever- without one of those Family Circus cartoon map routes.

Fade-proof lipstick wouldn’t fade.

My 10 yr old would listen to me.

Ok, my 10 yr old would at least acknowledge me.

I could spend a day with the wonderful cherubs teachers, neighbors, and friends tell me about.

I wouldn’t have to leave the room my kids are in sometimes to avoid losing my mind.

…. And lastly… In my ideal world, Dr. Oz would feature Snickers as a cure-all for breast cancer, heart disease, and Alzheimers. And maybe cellulite.

17 comments:

  1. Oh, how magical would it be for Christmas to return!!

    And as for your dilemma over wine? I think the social acceptability is what needs to change. :)

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  2. Love it! Stumbled you from Liz's Blog Frog!

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  3. This is so funny...and I miss not pumping gas. And can I join you in the Dr. Oz stuff? That guys wants to turn this whole country into boring communist North Korea. Nothing is ok to do, eat or say anymore.

    I say (Jersey girl all da way), yo! Bring on the drinks and fat-filled milk chocolate. These kids are making me nuts!!

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  4. STINKIN perfect!

    I couldn't have said it better myself!

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  5. You make me almost wish to leave my hillbilly heaven for New Jersey, just so we could not pump gas together.

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  7. That sounds like a wonderful world!

    Carrie A Groff

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  8. "And lastly… In my ideal world, Dr. Oz would feature Snickers as a cure-all for breast cancer, heart disease, and Alzheimers. And maybe cellulite."

    I'm hearing strains of Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World... the first WWW. And yes how wonderful would it be to lay in bed and still think maybe that sound you just heard was Santa and not some thief trying to make off with your HDTV. ;)

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  9. p.s. I heard that Guinness is not just for breakfast any more. Can't speak to wine.

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  10. I hear ya...no cherubs here either!

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  11. I'd be all for the Snickers cure, but I hope Milky Ways would at least cure the common cold.
    ~Lisa

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  12. Oh, god, the family circus map. I am totally with you!

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  13. "I would sound more like June Cleaver, less like Yosemite Sam when speaking to my kids."

    LOL! Classic!

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  14. I love your list, especially the cellulite part cuz I need help! Anywhoo, stopping by from your SU group.

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  15. I would love for someone to pump my gas. We don't have that as a option here in South Carolina.

    Thanks for you continued attempts at leaving a comment. I loved the ProBlogger tips too. The nachos are so good. I made some for JDaniel's muffin tin meal for Monday.

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  16. Thanks for making me laugh! Actually I’ll take any kind of chocolate as the “cure-all for breast cancer, heart disease, and Alzheimers. And maybe cellulite.”
    http://RaisingFigureSkaters.com

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  17. Love this! Each one had me smiling and nodding my head in agreement. Found you from the blogfrog and I will be following!

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