I should be... wrapping up work to go home, getting uniforms ready for tomorrow's games, maybe going so far as getting some groceries so there's more than an apple as old as Eve, two Gogurts, and a bottle of Guinness in the fridge. But, the thing is kids~ Mommy's mentally and physically numb right now.
This week, I stood and watched as my company's server crashed. And by crashed, I mean the box spewed smoke. Now's not the night to wait until 9:30 pm to say you received three days of detention starting tomorrow. If you have a brain in that beautiful little head, you'll give me at least 48 hours notice of any science project. You'll not stand there and tell me it's due tomorrow morning. You got your progress report? Great. Throw me a bone and "forget it" in your locker one night. You'll understand that a bowl of cheerios IS dinner. I'll pretend I didn't see you add Skittles to it, nor ask where the heck you got Skittles. I think there's enough milk for the bowl. (?) Go ahead, kids. Divvy it up. And please don't start hitting each other AGAIN with the spoons. Or the bowls.
Wait- where was I? Oh, right~ I'm numb. There are times in life when work and family can coexist. They have to. Tonight- with server-smoke still in my nostrils, I'm numb and I don't know how they can. Massive chunks of client work from the past two-three years may be lost. Gone- like some hapless, mysterious sock inexplicably evaporating from our laundry room. Maybe tomorrow, when I'm surprised to learn the back up covered what I needed after all, I'll feel better. But my numbness comes from knowing that now, only skilled (read as way expensive) specialists in clean suits and rooms have a shot at salvaging any of it.
I'm a mom, right? I know you always need a back up plan. I thought I planned. I thought I was a good little data-backer-upper. Not so much it turns out. Now I know you must explicitly specify to those responsible which data to back up. It turns out IT people aren't intuitive. They live in the world of logic only- Yes or No. Not my "wellll, yeah you should..." world. My business loss which earned the phrase "potentially catastrophic data loss" has left me feeling unable to handle the drive from office to school right now, let alone the evening that awaits.
So now, I am heading to the school to pick up my sons who live their only little bubble of a world. They will not understand insurance phrases like "business continuation coverage." They won't notice I've aged ten years today. They'll asked if I signed them up for lacrosse summer camp, and not comprehend why I am turning toward them so slowly, so inquisitively, yet so maniacally. Like a confused dog who then eyes a squirrel. At this moment, my mind can no longer process how much information my server no longer can. It can only process that I'm being instructed to FedEx the dead drive AND the dead ghost drive to Northern California. From what the kind man on the phone said, they will open them up and attempt to recover info. While I'm blindly wandering through his instructions (in a manner I pray my kids would for once), they will climb on the Kinko's counter, assault each other with packing peanuts, and succumb not to my obvious numbness, but to bribes for Maggie Moo's ice cream if they stop. Children~ my precious ones~ just stop. now. seriously. now. Mommy is numb.
Well, hard drives, off you go tonight to Novato, CA, which I just looked up online. In the map graphic, it appears close to Shangri-la. (Napa for the uninitiated) I should be going there. I should not be bribing kids with toxic blue, cotton candy flavored ice cream. That's where I should be making myself numb.