Why wouldn't we burst into song?

Yes, managing family & a small business requires military precision. So without further delay, (with a nod to those whacky guys, Gilbert & Sullivan), I bring you a working-parent's song:

I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information parental, professional, logistical.

I know every shop for coffee, and school reports historical
From start of school to early June, in order categorical;

I'm very well acquainted, too, with lost books mathematical.
I hate each morning’s mayhem, with chaos so unavoidable.

With shouting kids while on work calls, my patience I think I shall lose,
And more junk food from the drive thru, I’m gonna look just like a moose.

I'm very good at committing to volunteer time ridiculous;
And my kids don’t seem to care that I’m trying to run a bus-i-ness.

In short, in matters parental, professional, logistical,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

I know so-called life/work balance, is one of hist’ries biggest crocks;
I work with crazy clients, and dioramas in a shoe box.

I race to school with tardy kids trying to catch the field trip bus,
My husband & I swear this whirlwind won’t get the better of us.

Whilst I tell you tales of scheduling that would bring a grown man to his knees,
In reality, dawn through dusk, regardless of costly fees,

I dream of sleep’way camps for a week or two, heck- let’s try for four.
I love my kids, I really do, but weeks of peace are things of lore.

I cherish quiet moments at my desk, they’re so far from my norm,
Then scribe a check to replace my son’s third lost soccer uniform.

In short, in matters parental, professional, logistical,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

A working parent’s day calls for adjustments quite chameleon,
When bedtime’s passed, we sit down to tonic with a hearty splash of gin.

When such affairs as snow and school vacation breaks I'm more wary at,
I know my husband signed willingly as my compatriot.

I bring work home, pleas for calm fail, so then resort to bribery,
The stress of which makes me want to dash to join a nunnery.

In short, when you’ve seen the lengths of my home/career balance strategy,
You'll say a better Major-General there never was than she.

If you saw my lively sons and home run like a penitentiary,
It would be very clear I’m the true mother of the century;

But still, in matters parental, professional, logistical,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.