How Facebook helped me be cool

I'm putting my sons on notice today that I am preparing to recapture my swagger. Henceforth, I will will be emerging from the house a true Jersey Diva Mom, filled with confidence and swagger (basically). I won't be moving around with an entourage, but I will be taking care to think of myself as a fun loving, moderately fit woman surrounded by people who like me. While my sons' adolescent minds may be dripping with all the ways I am NOT cool, I'm committed to this mindset. I consider it neither delusion nor imagination that I may still be someone with decent taste in clothes and music. Instead, I'm leaning on a self-validation tool generations of moms before me could not enjoy. I have Facebook, and Facebook has helped me recapture my cool.

Son1 is 12, and has asked about getting a Facebook page. So far we've put it off. I think he sees it as a haven for the "uncool," my people call them "parents." He's gotten increasingly curious about this site. He's heard me relaying stories to the hubs, laughing at comments of high school friends, and bitching about him (about Son1, not the hubs). What surprised him the most was that I actually had 200+ people that would own up to knowing me.  He asked if I knew all these people. He seemed shocked I did.  "But I've never heard of half of them." He heard the hubs and I talking about our feeling abut friending old HS or college boyfriends/girlfriends. Son1 had no opinion either way. He was fully floored we had dating experience.Well, kids, I know this shocks you-- but Mommy had a LIFE before motherhood.

Today, I'm heading out to meet up with my college roommate, with our collective five boys in tow. We'll catch up on kid stuff, we'll go on rides, but we'll also talk about US... how shocking will that be for our 12 & 13 year olds? While inside jokes and stories will get censored a bit, it will be clear to their pubescent minds that we had a life, we had fun, we did all those fun Penn State student things... we dated. Were it not for trying to set a good example, I would lay it on the line to see Son1 squirm at the thought of his own mother at a frat party. While I was never the life of the party, I was at the party. Thank you Facebook, for facilitating today's reunion and for once again reminding me that somewhere, sometime, someone thought I was cool.

In addition to helping me reconnect with long lost friends, Facebook has also helped my health. Hear me out. Back in the day, you always had a good 3-6 months warning that you needed to look good. Weddings, reunions, 30th Bday parties, etc. all came with advance warning. Now, in the pop-up reunion world that it is Facebook, at any moment's notice, I may be seated next to my middle school crush or a girl who made my life Hell in high school. You never know, so you have to be on your game all the time. You can only edit your own family pics so much if you're going to post, and you know only horrid ones will be published and tagged by others. This constant state of ready has left me feeling comfier in clothes I haven't worn in years. And just like that, another ounce of swagger crept back in.

Our kids have a wonderful way of making us feel totally clueless. I know it's the nature of a teen (or pre-teen in my case). Well, think back to your own parents. You can make the case it's a parent's nature to embarrass their kids. Tricks of that trade used to be restricted to coddling in public and rocking mom-jeans. How awesome is it that we can re-embrace our own cool to embarrass our kids instead? Armed with a cute Hurley bathing suit thanks to the constant reunion threat/motivation, my music playing in the car again thanks to a FB friend's "throwback" Duran Duran post, and the self-confidence that comes with being reminded not EVERYone sees you as a dufus, I'm off to enjoy my day. Thanks, Facebook!