All moms should be divas...this one just happens to be in Jersey!

Friday, August 6, 2010

How Facebook helped me be cool

I'm putting my sons on notice today that I am preparing to recapture my swagger. Henceforth, I will will be emerging from the house a true Jersey Diva Mom, filled with confidence and swagger (basically). I won't be moving around with an entourage, but I will be taking care to think of myself as a fun loving, moderately fit woman surrounded by people who like me. While my sons' adolescent minds may be dripping with all the ways I am NOT cool, I'm committed to this mindset. I consider it neither delusion nor imagination that I may still be someone with decent taste in clothes and music. Instead, I'm leaning on a self-validation tool generations of moms before me could not enjoy. I have Facebook, and Facebook has helped me recapture my cool.

Son1 is 12, and has asked about getting a Facebook page. So far we've put it off. I think he sees it as a haven for the "uncool," my people call them "parents." He's gotten increasingly curious about this site. He's heard me relaying stories to the hubs, laughing at comments of high school friends, and bitching about him (about Son1, not the hubs). What surprised him the most was that I actually had 200+ people that would own up to knowing me.  He asked if I knew all these people. He seemed shocked I did.  "But I've never heard of half of them." He heard the hubs and I talking about our feeling abut friending old HS or college boyfriends/girlfriends. Son1 had no opinion either way. He was fully floored we had dating experience.Well, kids, I know this shocks you-- but Mommy had a LIFE before motherhood.

Today, I'm heading out to meet up with my college roommate, with our collective five boys in tow. We'll catch up on kid stuff, we'll go on rides, but we'll also talk about US... how shocking will that be for our 12 & 13 year olds? While inside jokes and stories will get censored a bit, it will be clear to their pubescent minds that we had a life, we had fun, we did all those fun Penn State student things... we dated. Were it not for trying to set a good example, I would lay it on the line to see Son1 squirm at the thought of his own mother at a frat party. While I was never the life of the party, I was at the party. Thank you Facebook, for facilitating today's reunion and for once again reminding me that somewhere, sometime, someone thought I was cool.


In addition to helping me reconnect with long lost friends, Facebook has also helped my health. Hear me out. Back in the day, you always had a good 3-6 months warning that you needed to look good. Weddings, reunions, 30th Bday parties, etc. all came with advance warning. Now, in the pop-up reunion world that it is Facebook, at any moment's notice, I may be seated next to my middle school crush or a girl who made my life Hell in high school. You never know, so you have to be on your game all the time. You can only edit your own family pics so much if you're going to post, and you know only horrid ones will be published and tagged by others. This constant state of ready has left me feeling comfier in clothes I haven't worn in years. And just like that, another ounce of swagger crept back in.

Our kids have a wonderful way of making us feel totally clueless. I know it's the nature of a teen (or pre-teen in my case). Well, think back to your own parents. You can make the case it's a parent's nature to embarrass their kids. Tricks of that trade used to be restricted to coddling in public and rocking mom-jeans. How awesome is it that we can re-embrace our own cool to embarrass our kids instead? Armed with a cute Hurley bathing suit thanks to the constant reunion threat/motivation, my music playing in the car again thanks to a FB friend's "throwback" Duran Duran post, and the self-confidence that comes with being reminded not EVERYone sees you as a dufus, I'm off to enjoy my day. Thanks, Facebook! 


20 comments:

  1. Ha, I'm glad to hear that Facebook is helping you get your groove back. You go, girl!

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  2. You are crazy! lol :)
    Happy Friday! Following from BF -FF!
    I have a new blog: MomCents - Let me know what you think!
    http://www.momcents.com

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  3. i've found FB to be a great resource for help with various issues that come up in life. everyone has gone their separate ways since college, but everyone has their own talents, skills and work experience, and it's a great tool to reach out to those people.

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  4. Stopping by from Mom Loop - Facebook has been such a great way for me to keep in touch with all my friends across the country, and to let people know en masse when I'm coming home for a visit. I hope you have a great time reliving the college days, and that your son gets a glimpse of what his mom was like before she became a mom. Have a great weekend!

    http://gruneisenfamily.blogspot.com

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  5. Hahaha. Facebook rules.

    Sort of.

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  6. Yes, I do love Fb as well. All my teenage son's friends friended me, because I am cool! And about friending old boyfriends and girlfriends? It worked out well for me...I'm dating the boy I had the biggest crush on in school, but only had one date with. Good for you in getting your swagger back!

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  7. My son was shocked when I opened a FB account. I don't remember thinking my parents didn't have lives before me, but my kids certainly have the same misapprehension that your do. Good for you for getting back your cool.

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  8. It is so wonderful to be cool. I don't think I am cool on FB. I do have cool friends. Stopping from Mom Loop! Have a great weekend!

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  9. Since I've moved half way across the country from my friends FB is an awesome way for me to stay in touch with all the friends at home.

    And I'm cool.

    Seriously.

    I am.

    I think. :hehe:

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  10. I loved this! Sitting here with my hair pinned up staring at my 4 month old thinking, you can't take my cool. Lol!

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  11. That's so funny! But guess what, my daughter asked me last night was idk meant...I replied "I don't know"....she was impressed=)

    Have a great weekend!

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  12. I am all about renewing old friendships lately. I am not on FB though, but have reconnected with some college friends and it's been great! Have fun!!

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  13. I wish Facebook had the same effect on me as far as looking my best! I found out the hard way about getting tagged in others pictures of me and having them out there for the world to see, completely undeletable. Awesome that FB gave you your swagga back!

    Thanks for the visit from Mom Loop FF!!

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  14. This post actually made me think - I've started to try and find my grove back also, because of Facebook I started an account and all kinds of people found me, and posted all those pictures, and I thought the same thing - At what point in my life did I become a dufus! I think we've come of age to reclaim.

    Ooohhh Duran Duran, what memories!

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  15. Facebook makes me feel both young and old: young because I can recapture my youth from the friends who knew me back when, and old because of all the time that has passed.

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  16. Haha! FaceBook makes me, at various times, rampantly uncool and mum-ish, and horribly smug compared to the states other people I went to HS with are in ;)

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  17. Then I will have to go back to pants with zippers and not elastic waistes and shoes with heels and not my lambswool slippers. Tough one!

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  18. It is hard for our kids to believe we are people too. ha ha! I have family all over the place and I love keeping up with them there.

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  19. I have older teens and young adults. I just got on FB the first of this year. They would laugh at me because I kept asking questions, lots of stupid ones really! I think I finally have it figure out, and I am friends with all 4 of my kids and their spouses/sig others. Helps me keep up with what's going on. It's funny, just this last week, my 28 year old calls me and asks, "whats up with the baby sister and her boyfriend?"(dating for 19 months) I replied, "I have no idea, Why?" she says - well one of them's FB status says in a relationship and its complicated and the other says single! How else can we find out these things, lol?!
    Hi Amy! I love the pear!
    I am not a crafty person at all, but I saw a cool luminary at a gift shop when I was on vacation, now I realize this is the process they must have used to make it!
    Very cool!
    Bernice
    http://bernicewood.wordpress.com/2010/08/10/crisis-prevention-101/

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  20. Wow, sorry about the above comment! I somehow cut and pasted part of another comment that is totally off topic! Don't see a way to edit it!

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